Been a while...

Events of the past month have turned my brain into a black hole of fears, loves, hates, passions, thoughts racing through of every kind. Good and bad. Confusing and simple. Wait... that right there is my problem... my inability to simplify things. At times in my life I seem to take a single event or action and run it over in my mind. Thinking of the actual outcome and all the zillions of possible outcomes. My mind can over analyze anything... anything at all. The way my mind works is sometimes a wonderful thing, at other times I wish I could just shut it off completely (I've tried, nothing works? Advice?)

Anyway... here I am at the end of the month with simply no answers to any of the life changing decisions that I must make - I'm only left with more questions. These are decisions that will effect my life, my daughters life. I feel like I'm in the most tense game of chess and there is a roomful of silent people just staring at me waiting to make my move. 

I ponder whether I should go into specifics of what is going on in my life. Not sure if the world needs to know that much about my personal affairs at this time. I don't know, maybe I will share some of it at some point but only time will tell. All I know is that I need to make some very important decisions and though I don't want to rush the choice I make; I need to make these decision soon and final.

That is all for now, just a quick brain blurb.

xoxo ~Silly

It's all good...

Just a quick note as I feel a little weird leaving my blog how I did. Though the 'mindfuck' is still in progress things are looking up... or I'm feeling a tad better anyhow. When so much 'shit' gets dumped on you all at once some times it is just too much. I know that all will work out well and that I should be appreciating life itself and not worrying so much about all the little crap that comes with it. I'm thankful for all I have. This weekend should be a fun one, going to see my dad on Easter with my little one. I haven't seen him in a while so it will be nice to 'catch up'. 

Thank you for all the well wishes and I hope to all that are reading this have a wonderful Easter Weekend.

~xoxo Silly

Life is one long mindfuck...

...and it is how one deals with life's mindfucks that make us who we are. This past month has been extremely difficult for me in so many ways. A lot of the joys in my life have reached a point where they might come to an end. The only thing in my life that I know is going nowhere is my daughter - and for that blessing I am eternally grateful. The old saying "When it rains it pours" is something that is quite perfectly describes my life as of late. Losing my job, my daughter being ill, being robbed of money, having my heart and emotions toyed with, the possibility of soon having to find a place to live with little to no savings to speak of and no income coming in because of the loss of my job. My life just a month ago seemed perfect in so many ways. Happiness filled my days and nights, every single day and night. Lately, not so much. My mind has been consumed with what ifs, and hows and whys. I know that when life changes it just opens up new doors I/you/anyone never realized were there. But at this particular moment, at the time when I am actually going through everything... the end seems light years away. I am hopeful that everything will turn out fine, and I'm sure it will... just right now I'm not my silly self. I more often than not deal with things on my own. Sure, there are times when another person is good to 'lean' on, but in severe moments of troubles for whatever reason I seem to keep to myself and try to figure things out on my own without input from others as I feel it may sway how I actually feel, or what I should actually do. I have taken so many paths in life that I feel were the wrong ones. There are few out there who have had their life turn out the way they thought it would, and I am certainly one of those people. I just crave so much to live a simple life, a loving life, a life in which I am able to enjoy the world around me while I am still healthy and able. My mind has been such a jumble lately that I'm sure even most of these words I am typing now don't make much sense. This blog started off as something silly and fun, but there are sad moments even for the most silly. I feel every emotion so deeply, devote so much of myself to others and their happiness that sometimes in doing that I forgo my own happiness. Oh, at this point at times I just feel down right hopeless. It has been a very long time since I have felt this low. This lowness coming from a place where I have just seemingly 'lost control' of everything that was going so well. I keep thinking and thinking and trying to rationalize in some way all of the things that have happened in this past 30 days. Trying somehow to make things right but without actually doing anything, just thinking. When I get to a place like this I go back to thoughts of the past hurts I have had in my life and how I dealt with those. The time when all of my possessions were lost in a fire, all the car accidents I have been in, the time I was raped by two men, the time I went through when my mother was sick, the day I got the call that she had died, the day I saw my brother right after he had shot himself, the years of beatings and emotional abuse I went through at the hands/mouth of another man. Being at a place like this in my life right now brings all those emotions and feelings and moments rushing back like they are happening all over again. Bringing back all those feelings and compounding them with what I am going through right now is beyond tough. I know that there are others out there with problems far worse then mine, but for right now... this is my pain, this is my anguish, and I somehow, and someway quick need to find a way to work through all of this and get back to my silly self. If not for me, then for my daughter. It is my time to be truly happy, I just wish I had the answer on the how. Right now I am trying to find my happiness. This isn't an easy time in my life, but I hope that this time, whatever path I choose... I choose correctly. My sense of direction has always sucked... I'm hoping, beyond hope that if just this one time I go the 'right' way. To a place where I can find happiness not only for myself, but for my daughter.

National Cleavage Day

In honor of April 3rd, which is National Cleavage Day... I decided to ask the following question:

What are five words *you* use to describe boobs?

Here are the responses I got... read away!

• sure. breasts, knockers, cans, rack, tits. Do I get a #noprize? #nationalcleavageday
  
• can i do 5 terms? "funbags", "tits", "jugs", "the twins", and "bags of sand"
  
• melons, knockers, tits, girlies hmmm breasts? 
  
• melons.cans.bewbz.puppies.tittays.jugs.
  
• Tits, knockers, fun bags, boobies & ummmm breast I guess
  
• Tits, hooters, mammaries, ta-tas, & yazoos. I, personally, am a fan of tits. :D
  
• i tried to look into your eyes but i was hypnotized, and now i cant think....
  
• hooters, tits, knockers, breasts, boobs...?
  
• Here is my 5 - funbags, highbeams, jugs, dirty pillows, a straight man's two best friends
  
• Hooters, knockers, zas, puppies, rack.
  
• tits, tatas, love melons, sweater meat, front porch, breasts, etc
  
• once i start talking about boobs, i can't stop, so i'm gonna leave this for other guys, but u know i have some real juicy words
  
• mmm!!! mmm!!! MMM!!! MMM!!! GOOD!!!
  
• Just one: Manly!
  
• bouncies, girlies, bazungas, muh lovelies and nom nomz
  

Bouncing Boobs...

Ok. Never in a million years did I think one tiny set of bouncy boobs would have such an effect. Yet my oh my have they had some response. Below are just over a hundred of the responses I received on my new avatar. Along with all the responses I did receive, I've gained approximately 50 new followers. Ahhhhhh... the power of Boobs!

(and a little side note, you can only see the boobs bouncing if you look at Twitter on the web... if you are using Tweetdeck or a mobile device you will see boobs... but you won't see them bounce, so make sure you take a trip to the web, lol - SO worth it!)

If you are reading this and not familiar with Twitter... you can find the bouncing tits at: http://twitter.com/sueissilly

1. Beautiful avatar.
   
2. WOW!
   
3. o.O
   
4. Nice fucking tits babe. 
   
5. the bouncing. it's... hypnotic
   
6. Love the Avatar
   
7. You are toooooo funny! I just saw your new profile pic.
   
8. HOLY... CRAP. I should be classy. I'm pretty sure every other guy will say something so... Nice new picture. I like it :)
   
9. wowza... totally mesmerized by your new avatar
   
10. <----one of the best avatar i seen...ahahaa
    
11.  I will do anything and go anywhere for a rack like that. :D
    
12. they will come in handy during my hypnotherapy sessions
    
13. wow Sue, i almost didn't recognize you :)
    
14. the bouncing cleavage avatar is just..... dreamy *licks*
    
15. still staring... i think you've made me cross to the other side.
    
16. let me know if your followers increase, I might have to try that:)
    
17. mama! *makes sucking noises*
    
18. how do you make ur eyes do that?
    
19. I find it offensive you are exposing my chest for your avatar.
    
20. i am NO Homo but that avatar definetly caught my attention  like they don't even look real... frickn perfect.. NO HOMO
    
21. i AM trY inGtoTYpe but my head keeeps going up and down
    
22. yep, you know how men do, we get hypnotize by the breast
    
23. im trying to bounce mine right now. lol.
    
24. You need a BellyButton to go with yur uhmmm icon(s) !!
    
25.  I think my eyes just popped out of my head.
    
26. love your avatar
    
27. no comment
    
28. I'm sorry, I was watching the bouncing boobs. Did you say something? :D
    
29. HA! Love it.
    
30. Awesome avatar.
    
31. Babe, everyone within eyeshot thinks I'm surfing porn when I'm in twitter, and oh, by the way... Yowzia and Schwing!
    
32. I like that ICON wiggling,,,,that;s so nice,,Have a nice night
    
33. It definitely has a hypnotic effect. Its hard to look away.
    
34. It definitely has a hypnotic effect. Its hard to look away.
    
35. Oh their animated too, careful or you may hypnotize someone lol
    
36. If I keep watching the bouncing boobs, you'll hypnotize me, and I'll be under your power! ;)
    
37. Wow. LOL
    
38. Umm, about the avatar...yeh...as if Twitter wasn't distracting enough.
    
39. Oh I love your new avatar....... mesmerising....
    
40. the boobs are really distracting me. can't. look. away. ;)
    
41. Staring isn't a problem. It might be a bit hard to explain to my wife tho. ;)
    
42.  I like your new pic! wowzers! :P
    
43. Very distracting.. in a good way :o)
    
44. wow love that pic :)
    
45. I'm gonna be so distracted when we tweet from now on, LOL. so my apologies!
    
46. Your posts are making me nervous now :)
    
47. I can't concentrate any longer... have to ban Twitter :) life must go on...aaaaaaaaaaah
    
48. you can shake them anytime for me :)
    
49.  I can't focus with those things bouncing in mah face!
    
50. how on earth did you do this "amazing" avator darlln' , think u put womens movement back by oh 10-15 yrs LOL
    
51. Really loving the bouncing tits avatar! Wish they were all that thoughtful.
    
52. how can I shut my eyes with your boobs bouncing like that?
    
53. nice pic
    
54. OMG I just saw your AV! : ) Sue> you are impossibly hysterical! I am following YOU!
    
55. OMG I just saw your AV! : ) Sue> you are impossibly hysterical! I am following YOU! (via @thronkus) seconded
    
56. i like ur display picture haha
    
57. *giggles* I think I woke up to see your boobs bouncin' on Twitter.
    
58. nice new avi Sue ;)
    
59. wow nice pic
    
60. your bouncing boobs r a great distraction, but also a welcome pleasure, i am happy to endure the distraction u do know how much men endure for boobs, right? and hey, they r pretty, they just keep bouncing and bouncing and bouncing
    
61. nice pics! I mean pic! ;)
    
62. My oh my that's quite the enticing new avatar you got there missy.
    
63. lol i just saw your new avatar thingy... :P
    
64. I can barely see ur pic on my blackberry but is that boobies!? Lmfao
    
65. wow, gorgeous! :-D
    
66. uhhhh, are those yours?? They are lovely. And so bouncy.
    
67. great avatar
    
68. what do boobs & martinis have in common? 1 is not enough, 3 is unnatural
    
69. OMGosh, your profile pic had me LMAO
    
70. For the next weeks everybody will just tweet about your pic...oh yeah.
    
71. Love the new avatar . :)
    
72. They are intransing.
    
73. for the mother fucking win!
    
74. Nice um, boobs?
    
75. Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!
    
76. wow cool avatar ;-) all yours? Hehe
    
77. your boobs are putting me off
    
78. I must admit I have not seen a moving avatar since my Myspace days :)
    
79. omgz they DO bounce! Lmao
    
80.  I applaud your sexy avatar but really I am jealous. LOL
    
81.  An avatar for the ages!
    
82.  :P I am lovin the new pic. very, very eye popping!
    
83. Quite the new pic you've chosen! :)
    
84. Well like Dave Atell said " I can't walk around with one ball hanging out and expect to get the same attention as cleavge!"
    
85. I just found out your avatar moves. It doesn't do that in Tweetdeck.
    
86. Sue you keep hypnotising me with your profile pic! :) x
    
87. Is it you or a boob double?
    
88. ok. you are really tripping with that avatar...lol!!
    
89. a new form if hypnotism?
    
90. Quick question: Are they yours?
    
91. Ur. Av. Is. Killin'. Me! Rotating Avs can be irritating cause you lose track of your friends, but yours are always fun!
    
92. I like the image it gives me lots of ideas..... naughty boy!!!!
    
93. UM... Your avatar has rendered me useless.
    
94. I am am a very hard time reading your tweets!!!! ;o)
    
95. Your Twicon is very distracting
    
96. You should have gotten permission before you decided to use my breasts as your avatar. :-)
    
97. you must be riding on a bumpy road, ☺
    
98. GOTDAMNIT change this avatar
    
99. lol....im about to unfollow u cuz im startn to feel reeeeeaaallllyyy gay
    
100. Those bouncin' boobs are hilarious!! Somebody should tweet them to Eric Cantor - I could see his face now-Ha!
     
101. Every time I see your avatar I can't help but to laugh. You bring me joy.
     
102. Hi Sue, you know I always comment on ur new avatars! The "bouncing boobs" qualify for the best ever! You've topped yourself ths time!! :)
     
103. very nice your pic ;-) have a nice day!
     

This is about 24 hours of responses. I tried my best to put all of them on here though I'm sure I left some out. Thanks everyone! :)

Socks & Sex...

My latest question and answer post is thanks to one of my awesome followers @whoopsie. Other than just having a kick ass user name, this person is a great follow, so if you're so inclined go find and follow!

@whoopsie suggested I pose the following question to my users:

What do *you* think?? Bedroom etiquette - socks kept on or off when making whoopee under the duvet?

The response was really good on this question. Though most flat out said "Socks off!", take a read at what everyone had to say. Per usual I include every one's comment no matter if I think it is right, wrong, indifferent, or just makes no sense! Thanks to all who responded! Enjoy :)

• Socks off - cheese and eggs make a lovely dutch flavour... cheese from feet (i.e. no socks) egg from "wind" ... I'm on another planet today so not sure what is making sense, etc. ;) I was thinking of whoopie as in cushion as in dutch oven - my mind is not working, but I think you mean making babies not smells.
• Off... only on when attempting to get sleep on a cold night... and not on the job, lol :)
• Socks off, unless the feet involved are so heinous they're a sex buzz kill.
• I think that it doesn't matter if you call it 'making whoopee'. You're a lost cause by that point. Whichever makes her happy ;-) But, generally, unless it's abnormally cold, I don't sleep with socks on to begin with.
• Socks off, regardless of position relative to the duvet.
• Off. On is cheesy 90's porn. May as well grow some sideburns on your dick to go with the socks. ;-) I suppose that's more of a 70's porn thing, but hey, the point remains. Don't do it.
• That would depend on who's wearing the socks. Could be good for extra traction to hold onto the woman's ankles if... Well, yeah. Well I'm just sayin', if a guy's trying to hold her ankles, well... skin on skin might not be as easy depending. Socks'd help. ;)
• Socks off... doesn't matter if you're under the covers, over the covers or on the kitchen sink... hehe
• Off
• Off unless they are cute or sexy
• Off! Gotta be naked, and you can't be naked if you still have socks on :) Plus - once you're in the act if you're thinking about socks then you've got bigger problems.
• Socks off!
• Without a question, socks off! Now, I'd make an exception for those red boots of yours.
• Off... what dork keeps socks on? all naked and socks? ...sexsay...no
• Okay forget the President's address and questions, I need to answer your question silly one; socks off when u make woopie. LOL
• LOL Depends on the weather. I hate cold feeet! (double entendre slightly intended... THINK about it....) :) hehe
• Socks... off... that goes double for hip-hop morons and their sideways baseball caps... idiots don't know why... but your question made me flash on some porn I saw a while ago. Idiots left their dumb hats on. Disrespectful.
• Socks off EXCEPT when it is really really cold because cold feet can be too distracting sometimes.
• Off!!! Plus, I'm not the hugest fan of the term "making whoopee" but no socks please!
• Depends. How cold is it in the room? and how cute are the socks?

Myself. In an ideal situation I would have to say that the socks should be off. Though in a really good session; if I happen to, or he happens to leave his socks on - I will not stop mid way through sex just to have the socks removed! Also, I suppose quickies in unusual places don't count... one of those quickies in which almost all clothes are left on... hehe

Butterfly...

Cheaters...

Most of us have been faced with a significant other cheating on us. Whether we catch them 'red-handed' or simply catch them from word of mouth... Finding out either way doesn't hurt any less. I've fallen victim to a cheater more than once in my life unfortunately, and have handled it differently with each person. I was a bit curious how other people handled this situation so I posed the following question:

What would you do, or what have you done when finding out your significant other has cheated on you?

Here are all of the answers I received... Enjoy

• Never happened to me, thank God, but... I dread to think, I'd be such a mess :(
• After initial horrible pain, I actually tried to work it out. Realized later that she just wasn't "done". Bad times.
• I can easier describe what I wouldn't do. In a word, stay. Everyone gets a second chance, but sometimes things can't get put back. The trick is to be able to see when the damage is fatal and when work can save a relationship. Not an easy task.
• I literally kicked down the door and threw her and her clothes outside! (I call him my EX for a reason)
• The answer to your question would depend 100% on the circumstances involved. Lots of emotions and dynamics involved there.
• Depending on the circumstances, you forgive and work to rebuild trust.
• I'd wish them good luck without me.
• After much pleading and promising from her, I let it go... until 3 months later when I discovered it again (with a 2nd person)
• I would put my whole poker bankroll to either make it big within a year or get a change to start over in life.
• Let's just say it would require a scalpel & restraints.
• I need a significant other first :S but I don't know exactly and don't want to find out either, probably just avoid them and call them my ex.
• To my knowledge, I've never been cheated on, or cheated, but I'd tell the person to hit the bricks. No if's and's or but's!
• I just did a poll on this last Wednesday on my blog - people were pretty forgiving, for the most part.
• I'll take "Find another significant other!" Survey says! lol
• Best thing to do is simply walk away. Don't stoop to his/her/their level.
• For me personally, I divorced his ass, but not 'til I made him move out the very next day. They're still together & have 4 kids. Yeah. Weird.
• I think I'd sue for twivorce! Or at least get twerapy... but I'm a twealous lover so... twivorce on second thought.
• Leave him. Simple, and I wouldn't go back.
• Become friends with her and invite her to dinner then I'd leave his sorry ass with all the bills!
• Donkey punched myself.
• Before, or after, the funeral?
• It involved a crow bar, super glue, a weed eater, a pair of pliers, a deck of cards, a canister of peanuts, some duct tape.
• In answer to your question, it depends on many factors. The only thing for sure is that it hurts deeply in the soul...

Lots of varied answers to this question. I suppose in summation it all depends on the individuals, the circumstances surrounding the events, and how strong the relationship was before the cheating took place. Either way, being the victim of cheating is never an easy thing to cope with... and although a person may be strong enough to move 'past' an indiscretion, it never leaves the memory. Just like any other pain caused in life whether it be physical or mental, it leaves a scar. It changes in a way how we perceive things and how we proceed in life. 

Love the one you are with and think twice if you are about to become 'The Cheater'.

xoxo ~Silly

People are cold...

I didn't know what I would write about next here. But something/someone inspired me today to come back. While reading tweets I happened to catch one of my followers make the following comment:

"Apparently some girl died that went to my school either overdosed on some drug or suicide.. she was stupid anyway never did shit in school".

That comment was then followed by this one a few minutes later...

"I know this would sound mean but one less idiot on this planet now"

Now I don't know what your reaction is to reading these lines, but mine was absolute disbelief. How could a person be that cold and thoughtless. No matter how smart or not smart, good or bad looking, short or tall... every single human life is precious. Every single one. That girl I'm sure had a family, people who loved her. To be ridiculed after her death and almost celebrating in the fact that she is gone, well I just find it repulsive. 

I have lost two very important people in my life. My mother and my brother. I am sure they were not liked by every single person that crossed their path, but they most certainly were loved and cherished by many... as I'm sure was the case with this girl mentioned above. 

This is most certainly one of those instances where if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Why go out of your way to disrespect a person you hardly knew, if this person even knew them at all???? To belittle a soul that has just recently passed. This person mentioned the possible means of her passing, but does it matter at all how this girl died? No... not in the least. 

I am just absolutely repulsed by the comments made and will be unfollowing. Every person is entitled to their own opinion, but my goodness; this person has crossed a line that I just can not accept.

To whoever that girl may be, you are in my thoughts. Let this persons negative energy be erased by my positive energy. I may not have known you, but you were living just as I am now. May you rest in peace.

Respect the ones that are gone. Do not judge ones you did not know. Appreciate this life while you have it. Any second, it could be your last breath.