Last words...

Not sure why but I feel compelled to write about my mom. She passed away more than 5 years ago on June 28th... 5 days before her birthday... 1 month before her 30th wedding anniversary... 25 days before her mother passed away... and 25 days after my daughter was born. A lot of us say that we had/have 'the best' mom... well, mine was no different. I loved my mother more than you can imagine, we were the best of friends in so many ways. She was one of the only people I had ever met that didn't curse, that treated everyone completely equal no matter what their circumstance. It was because of her and the way she raised me, that I am the person I am today. Not a day goes by, not one... that I don't 'talk' to my mom, that I don't tell her that I love her. Her life ended much too quickly by comparison... she was only 48. Anyway, I won't get into details right now, but she was very ill for about 3 years before her death. We knew she was going to pass, we just didn't know when. She knew her time was limited... over those three years she went through many surgeries, hospital stays, the works. Well, as I mentioned before she passed 25 days after my daughter was born. When I gave birth I was living in Massachusetts, my mom was in New Hampshire, so she could not be there due to her illness. She hated that she couldn't be there. For as long as I could remember all she wanted was to be a Grammie, she never met her granddaughter... only heard her 'squeaks' over the phone, and soon nicknamed my daughter "Squeaker". We talked on the phone every day after I gave birth. Well, 2 days before she passed my mom called in the afternoon, it was a very brief conversation. This is basically all that was said, and I will NEVER forget these words.... "Susan, I love you, I'm proud of you, and you'll be a great mom". Just typing those words I tear up. I remember when she said it, it seemed odd... mom just didn't say things like that randomly. I know I talked to her again the next day, but don't remember a word, those are the last words I ever remember coming from my mom. I cherish that memory, those words. Some things in this life are priceless, and that moment, that memory, well... it has helped me get through a lot. She knew, somehow, that it was her time. I will always miss my mom, and though it has been years now, the pain of losing her has not gone away, it has just.... changed. For those of you that have lost someone special in your life, you know what I mean. Today as always, I shall repeat those words, at least once, look at her picture, at least once, and tell my mom I love her... at least once.

I love you - I'm proud of you - and you'll be a great mom

Moms Poem

Before I go
When my life has reached it’s very end
And I take that final breath
I want to know I’ve left behind
Some good before my death
I hope that in my final hour
In all honesty I can say
That somewhere in my lifetime
I have brightened someone’s day
That maybe I have brought a smile
To someone else’s face
And made one moment a little sweeter
While they dwelled here in this place
Lord, please be my reminder
And whisper softly in my ear
To be a giver not a taker
In the years I have left here
Give me the strength I need
Open up my mind and my soul
That I might show sincere compassion
And love to others before I go
For if not a heart be touched by me
And not a smile was left behind
Then the life that I am blessed with
Will have been a waste of time
With all my heart, I truly hope
To leave something here on earth
That touched another, made them smile
And gave to my life - worth

I found this poem at my mother’s computer desk only a couple days after she died. I do not know the author - just that my mother lived by these words, as I do now.