Tuesday, February 17, 2009

When to say "I do"...

This morning I commented that two friends of mine had gotten married after only four months of dating... I received quite the response from that little comment. So I was compelled to ask the following question and see what the feeling was throughout...

How long do you think you should wait after meeting someone to marry them?

These are the answers I received...
  • My parents got married after only 4 or 5 months of dating... 41 years... still going.
  • If you know that they're the 'one', then you simply know. Though, I thoroughly advocate living together first.
  • You should never marry anyone you don't hate.
  • There's no right answer. Some quickie marriages last forever. Other, traditional, 4-year engagements fizzle out quickly.
  • Long enough to find out how they really are in the morning, afternoon, night, happy, sad, upset, pissed off... could take forever.
  • I think that is individual. I dated my hubby for 12 years before we married, but that was me. A friend married after 2 days and is still married 20 years later.
  • There is no rules on this. I met and married my husband within 5 months of meeting. It lasted 13 years :)
  • I knew after 2 weeks with my gal that I wanted to spend my life with her.
  • Hard question really. Some people feel that they experience earth shattering love the moment they look at someone... and to them marriage seems like the next logical step... I was one of those... but have since learned my lesson. I believe the SAFE amount of time would be to wait a year.
  • My husband and I seriously discussed getting married on the second date, but we waited 3 years - I'm not sure why we waited.
  • I should wait 2 days short of two years from the day we met, since that is what I did.
  • At least 6 months.
  • Do what your heart tells you! <3
  • Really depends on the people, but the way I see it, if you're planning to spend the rest of your life together, why rush?
  • I think it depends, but I tend to wince if it's less than about a year. I married my husband 10 days short of knowing him for a year in person. Quite a lot longer online though.
  • Depends if we are going to start a family. That would "fast-track" a relationship at my age.
  • I think you should only marry people you haven't met in person. (Twitter meetings don't count of course.) :)
  • Enjoy the ride for all it's worth as love is something that should be savored with every bite. :)
  • Until it feels right, although I just find it unnecessary.
  • 1-2 years. More importantly, they should be established. So many young people get opportunities to move due to jobs but are married.
  • Dating and marriage: It's inversely proportional. At 18, you should wait 4 years. At 25, 1 year. at 40, 6 months, and so on. After 50 you need only wait til after room service turns down the bed.
  • As long as it needs to be... or as short.
  • Long enough for a full background check ;) joking... sort of
  • Minimum 6 months. But 1 year is better.
  • I think one should wait 6 months after the relationship is established and stable. Preferably 1 year.
  • We ponder this question often in our household. I say six months, domestic partner says, "hold out until ones of you dies" ...I'd rather be not married to him than married to anybody else. He's awesome with a wickedly dry sense of humor.
  • One. whole. day. and if you don't know them by the time those 24 hours are up, it's not happening... lol.
  • 14 minutes. (Wiseguy)
  • Time doesn't really have anything to do with it. It's connection.
  • I waited 8 months ;) But then, I knew that it was meant to be right away. Been 7 years now :)
  • I think you should at least have dinner. Any faster would seem... uh... needy.
  • 15 Minutes - 20 Tops. Relationships are all downhill from there :)
So there are all the answers that I received... and yes... I do post all of the answers... even the silly ones!!

Myself... I never was too concerned with getting married. Now though, given the right person, the right circumstance, this girl may one day wear a ring around her finger and say "I do".


Anonymous said...

My "wife" and I have known each other for close to 25 years (having "dated" in Middle School), we've been happily living in sin for the last 10 years. We have three kids, and neither of us is going anywhere anytime soon.

Marriage is a piece of paper that largely tells you what you SHOULD already know.

Julia Goolia said...

I knew my husband all of 7 months before getting married by a justice-of-the-peace... while he was on his lunch break. It's oozed of romance, lemme tell ya. I was only a teenager (19) and back then I should've had my own after-school special named after me.

At any rate, it didn't last too long (shocker!) and I have yet to walk down the aisle, visit the courthouse (again), or fly to Vegas and get married by an Elvis impersonator.

I don't argue the "Should we get hitched?" or "Should we shack up?" debate. To each his own, I say, and whatever works for you. For me, I haven't lived with a guy since my husband. But that's just me and if living together is what works for a couple; then more power to 'em. Being happy with one another is what really matters and if a couple wants it to work, then it will regardless of the legalities.

PurpleMusicGirlWrites said...

My husband and I married after knowing each other for 3-1/2 months. We eloped to Vegas and were married by an awesome Elvis impersonator. It was 2nd a marriage for us both. It also happened to be on my 40th birthday. That was 3 years ago. No regrets! :)

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